take and seal it

come, Thou fount of every blessing
tune my heart to sing Thy grace
streams of mercy never ceasing
call for songs of loudest praise

teach me some melodious sonnet
sung by flaming tongues above
praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it,
mount of Thy redeeming love

here I raise mine Ebenezer
hither by Thy help I come
and I hope by Thy good pleasure
safely to arrive at home

Jesus sought me when a stranger
wandering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger,
interposed His precious blood

o to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be
let Your goodness like a fetter
bind my wandering heart to Thee

prone to wander, Lord I feel it
prone to leave the God I love
here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it
seal it for Thy courts above




free download here... hymns!!

finals week.

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:31-34

I worry. A lot.

About all the wrong things, too. Not that I think there are "right" things to worry about... but most of the things I worry about are material. They do not last outside of this world. Things like grades, items I've misplaced, but mostly grades. God has blessed me so much in that I don't need to worry about what to eat, what to drink, what to wear... but I worry about so much more.
And then there are the other things I worry about. My relationships with people. My future. Am I loving people the way God has called me to? Am I headed in the right direction?

But God has me in the palm of His hand. He is holding me tight and He won't let go. As a friend said to me, He loves me mega ultra much ^_^ I just need to trust Him more.


so why do I worry?
why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need
Your love is strong.

learning to appreciate nature.

I was thinking yesterday.
(always dangerous, I know.)

But what if we are taking everything, literally everything we are not constantly thanking God for, for granted?
Often, I attribute everything that leaves me in awe to God.
But what about the things that don't generally strike me as amazing? That I don't usually notice?
Little things, like the way a branch finally lets its last leaf flutter towards the frosty dirt below.
Like the way the color of the sunlight changes between each season.

These things are beautiful.
They are good. They are perfect. They are God's creation, and as far as I can tell, are unmarred by humanity.
According to James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
These are gifts.
They are gifts!
And I am ungrateful.
God has been teaching me so much about how beautiful this world is through the gift of photography. Photography has taught me to look at the world in different ways - to notice the way the light and shadows fall, to pay attention to my surroundings, to look for beauty in things that would be ignored by most or even classified as ugly.
And through these changes in myself, I am able to see God a little more clearly.

distanced.

I see God doing so many amazing things among my friends. especially the new freshmen... I don't know their testimonies but seeing how they grow from day to day just amazes me.
I've heard so many amazing things about how God is working on this campus. I hear these things... but I am never personally a witness to them.

where is God in my life?

I'm trying. trying so hard.
maybe it's the fact that I'm trying.
He doesn't call us to try...
He simply calls us to believe and obey.

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
-Hebrews 10:35-11:1

I feel a little bit lost and... far away, I guess.
I know in my mind what I believe.
I just don't see God changing things.
I don't really see God working.



I miss being close to God.

it's a work in progress.

I've been learning.
learning about where I belong. who I belong to. who I am.

I've been realizing.
realizing that there is no way I could do this on my own.
I've gotten pretty close to the point of overwhelming stress... but I haven't reached it, thanks to the beautiful people God has placed in my life as well as the rest and strength He has given me.

being wholly centered on God is something so crucial to abundant life. it's a relatively easy concept to understand... yet the hardest concept to put into practice.

centered.

to be focused.

suffering from the i-don't-belong-here blues

but remembering that this is not my home.
I do not belong in this world - I am not of this world.
my home is with God, and with God alone.

--

i want to write...

but i've been rendered speechless.









and i'm not sure that it's a bad thing.














.

where i belong

feeling like a refugee

this air feels strange to me

take a deep breath and close my eyes

one last time

until i die i'll sing these songs
still looking for a home in a world where i belong

this body's not my own
this world is not my own

until i die i'll sing these songs on the shores of babylon
still looking for a home in a world where i belong

where the weak are finally strong
where the righteous right the wrongs
still looking for a home in a world where i belong

the little things/where i belong.

i think i've begun to lose sight of where i belong.
what i belong to,
who i am.

the craziness of this life has gotten to me.
but He's giving me rest.
much needed rest...
and it's bringing me back.

the little things.

old soul song

and all the way home you held your camera like a Bible,
just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth.

loneliness | solitude

loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused

because i spend my solitude with You

note to self:

He will never leave.

you are never alone.

don't you dare forget that.

to be vulnerable.

one of my friends wrote an encouragement note to me earlier this year that said "sometimes the most vulnerable parts of us are the most beautiful parts of us."

I had no idea what that meant and why he wrote that when I read that note at first.

but it's hit me that I am so afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of these deeper conversations, of these deeper friendships.

I'm not sure why. it's not that I'm particularly quiet; it's more that I'm quick to laugh, quick to talk about things that don't matter at much. but when it comes to anything deeper, I close off immediately.

there is a definite difference between being quiet and being introverted.

even though I am so introverted, I still need an outlet. writing, photography, and God have been so much more to me this summer than ever before. I have been so afraid to share these with people that I know in real life-I'd so much rather hide behind a screen of red, green, and blue dots.

and what's wrong with hiding behind these colors?

I'm still connecting with people. there are so many people out there that inspire me and bring my spirits up that I've never met in real life. that in some cases, I've never really interacted with - it's just their work speaking to me in ways that are so, so powerful.

I have a question, though.

what is the point of being vulnerable? what is the point of connecting with others? why is this so hard - and why should I care?

trapped

do you ever feel this way?
is this right?
is it possible to feel like you have to cry, but at the same time, there's no way that you can?
no reason that you should?
it's like my tears are trapped behind my eyes
building up, but there's no way for them to escape
and run free.
i don't know what's holding them back
what's trapping them
what's hiding them from the real world
i want to rescue them, to free them
but i don't know how.

i never knew how.

beauty.

i wholeheartedly believe that you can find beauty in anything and everything.

maybe it's the photographer coming out in me.

or possibly it's my fascination with science.

or, most importantly, maybe it's my realization that God has had, does have, and will have a hand in everything in this universe.

this blog will help me to log my own stumblings throughout the beauty of this world. feel free to come along :)